User:Zorro T. Dracoyena/The Tsunami That Only Hit One Place

Evelyn and Buddy walked into the lobby to find the floors drenched and water spraying out of several cracks in the walls

Evelyn: Roxie, what's going on?!

Roxie was sitting in the back at her station with a pair of scuba goggles on.

Roxie: There's a leak.

Evelyn: You call this a leak?

Roxie: At the moment, yes.

Evelyn: Shouldn't you call a plumber?

Jenny: *Emerges from a hatch in the side of the upraised portion of the floor. She's wearing a faded blue collared shirt and jeans* Ladies... and Buddy... I am their plumber and this is my tool belt.

Zorro: *Comes out too* I have duct tape.

Jenny: Yes.

Buddy: You're qualified to be a plumber?

Jenny: I'm not even qualified to be a secretary.

Zorro: That's not very good... *Pulls a 4 foot strip of tape off the roll*

Evelyn: Roxie...

Roxie: I'M WORKING!!! *Puts on flippers and shoves a snorkle in her mouth before waddling over to the door in the back and diving into the water that had gathered on the lower floor*

Jenny: Hmm. *A whole network of pipes smashed through the wall across from the wall that the Derobinator was against and crashed around Zorro and Jenny* I ain't fixin' that. *Goes over to her desk*

Zorro: I'm goin' in the kitchen. *Heads for the door in the wall that the pipes just fell through*

Evelyn: Don't you think you should call a real plumber now?

Jenny: No. Why?

Zorro: *Opens the oddly 2-way door out into the room and is immediately hit by all of the water that has filled the room. He's standing there for a total of 10 seconds before the water stops coming* That... was... a-MAZE-ing! *Briefly shakes* It's just a little leak.

Smokey: *Floats out on a little, orange, inflatable raft* Well, it's about time.

Zorro: Hey, Smokey. *Goes in the kitchen*

Evelyn: *Looks at Jenny expectantly* Well?

Jenny: Thing is, I beat up the only plumber in the city.

Zorro: *Comes back out of the kitchen, half rapping:* Baby, I sure wish I could lend you a hand / But the plumbing's one thing I don't understand / It's true (Haven't got a clue) / B-b-b-baby, I can tell you've got a big problem / When I flush the john, then your shower goes on / (Baby) Now whatcha gonna do? / If Drano's a joke and your plunger is broke / Baby, call the mensch with a monkey wrench / (Baby) He'll be there for you

Evelyn: Is this really necessary?

Jenny: IT FITS THE SITUATION!

Zorro: Shower's backing up (up up)? / Water won't go down (down down)? / Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby / Don't forget my plumber / Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby / Sink's been stopped up all summer / Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby / Better call the plumber / He'll know what to do

Evelyn: I really think-

Jenny: QUIET!

Zorro: Pipes been blowing up / Pipes been breaking down / And the carpet's soaked... right through / Ba-ba ba ba ba, ba-ba ba ba ba ba / Ba-ba ba ba ba, kitchen's flooded, too / Ba-ba ba ba ba, ba-ba ba ba ba ba / Ba-ba ba ba ba, girl you know it's true *Another pipe fell out of the wall* B-b-b-betcha this guy makes more than my lawyer / If he works for one day, costs you half a year's pay / (Baby) He can be here by 2:00 / So if you've got cash, he'll be there in a flash / Makin' service calls in his overalls / (Baby) He'll do his best for you *Water shoots up out of the floor like a geyser, narrowly missing Zorro's foot. Jenny gets up to continue working* Sewer's backing up (up up)? / Got you feelin' down (down down)? / Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby / Don't forget my plumber / Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby / Leaky pipes are a bummer / Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby / Time to call the plumber / Maybe call a few

Jenny: Got a problem with plumbing? / Gotta blame it on something

Together: Blame it on the drain it was cloggin', cloggin' / Blame it on the faucet that drips all night

Jenny: If hairballs, grease and goo / Won't let the water through

Together: Blame it on the drain, yeah, yeah

Zorro: When I flush the john, now when I flush the john / It turns your shower on / (Jenny: Roto - Rooter 6 - 5000) / Ba ba-ba-ba, baby / Better call my plumber / He'll know what to do

Jenny: *Announcer voice* Call now. We're in the yellow pages!



Water begins to come from the ceiling.

Jenny: Duct tape.

Zorro: *Holds up 2 different rolls* Flames or cosmic tie-dye?

Jenny: Cosmic tie-dye.

Yellow pages!
The Misadventures of the HQ Crew (and whoever else is in the lobby at that time) Archive