User:Zorro T. Dracoyena/Welcome??? to Dinosaur Island

Matt was standing near the desk in his library, staring at a picture.

Matt: *To himself* This will be very entertaining...

- On a boat the next day -

Matt: Now, let's make sure everyone is here. *Looks at clipboard*

Jenny: Shouldn't you have done that before we got 3/4 of the way there?

Matt: *Not looking up* It really doesn't matter to me. There should be 15 girls and 15 boys, right?

Roxie: Naw, there's 1.5 girls. I really question if Jenny is a girl.

Jenny: You know I'm not entirely human.

Matt: Quiet! When I call your name just say "Here," "Present," "What's chillin'," I really don't care... Boys: Jimmy.

Jimmy: *Fearfully eyeing Jenny* H-here.

Matt: Trevor.

Trevor: Present.

Matt: Wonderful.

Jenny: Wonderful's not here!

Matt: *Stares at Jenny for a few seconds* Buddy.

Buddy: What?

Matt: Vincent Skullfinder.

Vincent: Well, of course I'm here -

Matt: Iggy.

Iggy: ...uh...huh...

Matt: Chef Watanabe.

Watanabe: Hm?

Matt: Chef Gino.

Gino: Here!

Matt: Bob.

Bob: I am present.

Matt: Zack.

Zack: Yo!

Matt: Ian.

Ian: *Pushes glasses up his nose though he doesn't exactly have one* I'm here.

Matt: Justice.

Justice: This isn't in any kind of order, is it?

Matt: Leaf.

Leaf: I'M THIS LOW ON YOUR LIST?!

Matt: Barney.

Barney: *Finally taking his eyes off the ocean* Huh?

Matt: Finn.

Finn: Yep.

Matt: And Zombie Carl.

Carl: I guess.

Matt: And now the girls. *Jenny lets out a really loud iritated sigh* Jenny, are you here?

Jenny: NNNNNO!

Matt: Roxie.

Roxie: Do I have to?

Matt: Yes. Mira.

Mira: Present and accounted for! *Salutes*

Matt: Selena.

Selena: I'm here.

Matt: DJ Candy.

DJ Candy: *Listening to headphones* Whatja say?!

Matt: She is here. Sapphire.

Sapphire: Omigosh omigosh omigosh!

Matt: Somebody slap her. *Jenny smacked Sapphire across the face without bothering to get up. Sapphire was stunned for 3 seconds then began dancing* Violet.

Violet: ...

Matt: *Looks up*

Jenny: She's not here either. *Trips Sapphire*

Matt: Poppy.

Poppy: I'm here, Mr. Matt.

Matt: Lyndsay. *No answer* Lyndsay. *Still no answer* Lyndsay?

Jimmy: She's up in the crow's nest.

Jenny: We have a crow's nest?

Jimmy: It's up there.

Jenny: *Threatening* You want that cheese?

Jimmy: *Cowers down* No, please!!!

Matt: Shirley.

Shirley: *Busy spraying hairspray*

Matt: Nicole.

Nicole: *Vogue-ing or whatever it's called*

Matt: Madame Zoe.

Zoe: Present, cher.

Matt: Rhonda.

Rhonda: What up?

Matt: Star.

Roxie: She's somewhere.

Jenny: *Hanging over the back of the chair, staring at the sky*  I'm your biggest fan / I'll follow you until you love me / Papa-paparazzi  *Notices Violet staring at her. Freakishly high voice* Hey, Violet.

Violet: *Arches an eyebrow and looks away*

Jenny: *Bolts upright and furrows her brow, puzzled*

Matt: Elmira.

Elmira: *Shoots him a threatening look*

Matt: That's everyone.

Mira: What are we doing, sir?

Matt: You all are going to live on an island.

Lyndsay: *Up in the crow's nest* ISLAND!!! *Points in front of the boat*

Leaf: What? This is another one of your stupid gameshows? No one voting me out!

Matt: There will be no voting. And no money.

Leaf: Whaaat? I am so outta here!

Zack: Yeah, good luck with that.

Leaf: *Looks longingly in the direction they had come from*

Jenny: Hey, DANNY! *Danny leans to the side of the helm to see her* What're we doin'?

Danny: I'm just steering.

The boat came up to the beach and everyone got off, including Danny.

Matt: This is Dinosaur Island. You all will stay here and try not to be ripped to shreds and/or eaten by the savage dinosaurs that reside on this island.

Everyone: WHAT?!

Violet: That better include you.

Iggy: Whoa, she can talk?

Carl: *Defensive* Of course she can talk!

Matt: Nope. I am going back to the studio to watch the fun on the various hidden cameras that even a dinosaur can't find.

Violet: *Glances at the ship* Is that so?

Matt: Pff, yeah. I'm not about to stay here and get eaten.

Violet: *Crosses her arms smuggly* Aren't you?

Unnerved, Matt turned around. The ship was floating away.

Matt: AGH!!! WAIT!!!

Matt ran down the beach after the ship. Everyone else followed. They probably chased him for a mile before he finally dropped to his knees and somberly stared after the ship.

Matt: *Panting* Why... did that... happen?

Rhonda: Payback! *Takes a step forward*

Before Rhonda had her chance to beat the snot out of Matt, they all noticed a dark figure walking away from them down the beach. It had a humanoid shape from what they could tell. Unsure of what kind of person would live here, they walked as quickly as they could after the figure. When they got closer they realized that the figure was wearing a flimsy dark gray shirt, black baggy pants that were bound at the bottom by gray gauze type material, an even darker black sash, a black belt, and a black bandana that was the same dark shade as the sash. But the most disturbing thing about it was that it had a tail covered in shaggy black fur and ears that stuck out of the bandana.

Vincent: *Rather rudely* Who are you?

The figure spun around, drawing a pirate sword as it did so. To their surprise - horror for a few of them - it was Zorro.

Zorro: What are you doing here?

Matt: *As innocently as possible though he was absolutely terrified* G-gameshow?

Zorro: *Presses the sword point against Matt's throat* How did you get out of the closet?

Leaf: We're kinda following a boat so I can get out of here.

Zorro: What boat? That broken one?

Matt: Broken?

The ship appears to be fine - for the next 2 seconds. A creature - most likely a dinosaur of some sort - burst out of the water and smashed to boat to splinters in its aligator like jaws. Its body was covered in thick, cracked skin and it had four flippers similar to a sea turtle's. Its tail was as long as its body and ended sort of like a whale's or dolphin's tail. The strangest thing was its colors. It was mostly purple, but along the top from the tip of its nose to the tips of the fins on its tail was yellow. The line dividing the yelow from the purple was extremely jagged and dipped down onto its sides in a few places.

Matt: *Staring at the devastated ship. Can't decide if he wants to scream or cry*

Zorro: Aren't Kronosauruses awesome?

Selena: No. It's not. We are trapped here. With him. *Points at Matt*

Matt: What?!

Bob: Well, let's face it. Nobody likes you for constantly torturing us.

A huge dinosaur stepped out of the bushes and onto the beach behind Zorro. Its skin was somewhere between light blue and sky blue, but its belly was lime green and it had thick yellow streaks that went across its eyes, along its shoulders, and a really jagged splotch that started on its back end and turned into thick triangular stripes as it went down its tail.

DJ Candy: T-REX!!!

Zorro: *Annoyed* It's not a T-rex. It's a Carcharodontosaurus.

DJ Candy: It's a what now?

The Carcharodontosaurus made a bunch of sounds like it was trying to repeat what Zorro said.

Rhonda: *Marches up to the dinosaur* Take that, Car... eater... thing! *Kicks its right foot*

The dinosaur responded by kicking her back, but that ended up throwing her into the bushes. It tried to cover its mouth in surprise, but the fact that its arms were short and its mouth big didn't exactly help anything. However, everyone did notice that its arms were a bit longer than a T-rex's and that it had 3 fingers instead of 2.

Ian: Wait a minute, why didn't it eat her?

Zorro: *Gives Ian a funny look* None of the dinosaurs here will eat you.

Matt: Are you serious? We're stranded on a dinosaur infested island for 25 episodes and they aren't dangerous?

Zorro: I really need to find you a closet. And yes, none of them will kill you. Well, they will, but they aren't mindless. You certainly won't get eaten. Right, Ravage? *Turns to the Carcharodontosaurus* Where's Rhonda?

Rhonda's voice from inside the dino's mouth: *Muffled* Get me outta here!

Zorro: *Briefly grins at the others* Spit her out.

Ravage did as he was told. Rhonda sat there covered in thick dino spit with a murderous look on her face as Ravage stepped into the bushes to get something. He came back with the biggest tube of toothpaste you had ever seen and a red toothbrush to match. Holding the toothbrush with the end of his tail, Ravage set to work unscrewing the cap on the toothpaste.

Justice: So we have to live here?

Matt: *Grumbling* Yes.

Justice: With nowhere to live?

Matt: *Still grumbling* Yes.

Justice: And with a dinosaur that brushes its teeth?! *Ravage was indeed brushing his teeth now*

Matt: Well, it sure looks like it! *Ravage walked out into the ocean, still brushing his teeth*

Poppy: Violet, can I have a pet dinosaur?

Violet: You're lucky you have a dog.

Matt: You're just gonna have to build a lean-to or something - *There was a huge splash*

Ravage had submerged his entire head. After some apparent gargling underwater, he pulled his head back up and shook, letting his tongue flop around.

Rhonda: *Running to the edge of the surf as Ravage came back* You got something to say about me?! *Ravage flicked her with his tail, sending her up into a coconut laden palm tree.*

Zorro: There's a place for you to stay.

Everyone that was arguing: -What?

Zorro: *Points to 3 enormous, round, classic tiki huts that were up on a low hill at the top of a path right near them* Notice that?

Justice: Eh... Not really, no.

Ravage: *No longer holding the toothpaste and toothbrush (they were probably back where he had gotten them)* The really big one in front is the mess hall. The smaller one to the left is for the girls and the smaller one on the right is for the boys. *Everyone except Zorro stared at him in astonishment* What? *Just that he could talk was stunning, but his voice wasn't nearly as deep as expected*

Matt: *Turned to Gino, Watanabe, and Zoe* OK, who's cooking?

Zorro: *Heading up the sandy path* None of them.

Zoe: *Kind of disappointed* What?

They followed Zorro up the gently rising sandy path as Ravage stayed on the beach and stretched.

Matt: If none of my "survivors" are cooking, then who is - AGH!

Standing several feet from the giant rectangular door in the hut was a jet black velociraptor with thin lime green stripes down its back and tail. It was standing almost upright and was wearing a chef's hat that just didn't want to stay up and an apron that originally had been white, but was now covered in blood stains.

Matt: Did you... eat... the chef?

Velociraptor: I ate myself? *Shakes head and walks over to a counter to their right*

Sapphire: Omigosh that's the chef?!

Zorro: No, Ambush is the butcher.

Ambush: *Turns around* Naw, I'm the plumber. *Ambush had a pretty typical Velociraptor voice, it just didn't sound as creepy* Ufarius is the chef.

Ufarius (you-far-ee-us): *Leans out of a small doorway at the other end of the counter in the same wall as the main door* 'Ello! *Ufarius appeared to be another Velociraptor, but he was a little bigger and had dull red skin with thin black stripes like Ambush's*

Just then, everyone noticed that there were 4 huge doors: north, south, east, and west. Because of the kitchen, this hut wasn't perfectly round.

Barney: So a couple of Velociraptors-

Ambush: NO! I am the Velociraptor!

Ufarius: *Extremely laid back* I'm a Utah Raptor. *Goes back in the kitchen*

Matt: ...This is gonna be fun...

Hillshire! Farm! Go Meat!
Survival on Dinosaur Island