User:Zorro T. Dracoyena/ZNC Episode 7

Zorro's sittin' behind the desk, singing. Louis is nowhere to be seen

Zorro: I am in misery / There ain't nobody that can comfort me, oh yeah / Why won't you answer me? / The silence is slowly killing me.

Jenny: *Jumps into Louis's chair* Zorro, you're back.

Zorro: Yes, I is.

Jenny: Where's Louis?

Zorro: He and his brother, Paladin, are being chased by dudes with tranquilizer guns.

Jenny: ...Good times.

Zorro: Where's Cameran?

Jenny: He quit, and then I fired him.

Zorro: Good! I couldn't stand that guy. *A guy walks in and heads for the unmanned camera* Who the heck is that?

Jenny: That's the new camera guy: Lenny.

Zorro: *Slowly turns to Jenny* What, did you hire a guy named "Flash" too?

Jenny: He was our next choice.

Zorro: ...Really...

Lenny: What do you want me to do first?

Zorro: You're the camera guy.

Lenny: Yeah, and?

Zorro: And... I'm gonna tell it to ya like this... you're fired.

Jenny: Should I go get Flash?

Zorro: *As Lenny walks away* No.

Jenny: Is Willy gonna work the camera again?

Zorro: Absolutely not!

Jenny: Then who's gonna work it?

Zorro: Toxin!

Zorro's big yellow and black spider crawled out, briefly waved, and made his way over to the camera.

Jenny: Yo spider?!

Zorro: Yes. Read the papers.

Jenny: *Picks up the papers in front of her* Dollar ninety-eight rebate on pumpkin puree?

Zorro: *Snatches the paper away and looks at it. He slapped his hand to his face then put the paper down* That's the wrong paper.

Jenny: *Snorts* Pumpkins are important too.

Zorro: Pumpkins can rule the world.

Jenny: Yes. You, a buncha blacks and Mexicans, and pumpkins. Rulin' the whole world.

Zorro: We can do it.

Jenny: Hmm... Pokemon Black and White expected for release in the US Spring of 2011.

Zorro: So that's when my competition begins...

Jenny: It's already begun in Japan. I'M WANTED BY NAACP?! WHY IN THE WORLD?!

Zorro: *Takes paper and looks at it* I told ya to quit crackin' them racist jokes. *Shoves the paper back at her*

Jenny: But they don't care what the blacks say about white people. Oh, it is on. Master Aran no longer has bragging rights in terms of fighting.

Zorro: Is that right?

Jenny: Chuck Norris kicked his tail.

Zorro: Can he still sit down?

Jenny: No he can not. Grandma Ruthie is suing the Chips Ahoy company for competing with her. Interesting. Bean was kicked out of the Build-a-Bear Workshop for being too talkative. 'Bout time.

Zorro: And now to the weather.

Jenny: Weather?

Toxin turned the camera to Zorro's left. Standing in front of a dry erase board was a Dracoyena with ice blue eyes.

Jenny: Who's he?

Zorro: That is my cousin, Koda.

Koda: *Draws a quick - and surprisingly accurate - picture of the United States on the board* We have a cold front coming up from Texas and a stationary front rapidly moving east.

Jenny: Do you have any idea what you're talking about?

Koda: No I do not.

Jenny: But that was completely backwards - I like yo style.

Zorro: Speaking of backwards: "One fine day in the middle of the night / Two dead boys got up to fight / Back to back they faced each other / They drew their swords and shot one another / One was blind and the other couldn't see / So they chose a dummy for a referee / A blind man went to see fair play / A dumb man went to shout 'Hooray!' / A paralysed donkey passing by / Kicked the blind man in the eye / Knocked him through a nine inch wall / Into a dry ditch and drowned them all / A deaf policeman heard the noise / And came to arrest the two dead boys / If you don't believe this story's true / Ask the blind man, she saw it too!"

Jenny: Wow... Got anything else?

Zorro: Koda knows a nonsense poem.

Koda: "Ladies and jelly spoons, hobos and tramps / Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bow-legged ants / I stand before you to sit behind you / To tell you something I know nothing about / Next Thursday, which is Good Friday / There's a Mother's day meeting for fathers only / Wear your best clothes if you haven't any / Please come if you can't; if you can, stay at home / Admission is free; pay at the door / Pull up a chair and sit on the floor / It makes no difference where you sit / The man in the gallery's sure to spit / The show is over but before you go / Let me tell you a story I don't really know."

Jenny: Do you two specialize in nonsense poems or su'um?

Zorro: Nah, we only know those two.

Koda: How did a news cast turn into nonsense poems?

Zorro: This is ZNC. Anything can happen.

Closed Captioning Provided By...
ZNC (Zorro's News Cast) Archive