User:Goth Girl G/Stranger than Impossible

Emi: Come one, come all, to the event of the century. Welcome to Stranger than Impossible!

(Cheesy music starts)

(Buddy enters stage right, Jenny enters stage left)

Buddy: Hiya, pal! I’m Buddy!

Jenny: And I’m Jenny! And we are your hosts!

(Applause)

Jenny: On this show, we bring in strange people from all around, people you don’t see everyday. Sadly, we don’t have anyone today, so we will introduce ourselves. Buddy, would you like to start?

Buddy: Yes I would.

(Silence)

Jenny: Buddy?

Buddy: Yes?

Jenny: You can start talking now.

Buddy: Now?

Jenny: (Head slam) Yes, Buddy, now.

Buddy: Ah!

Jenny: So start!

Buddy: Well, as said before, I’m Buddy. I used to be a Bellhop at a hotel, I could have promoted myself to manager, but I didn’t. Oh! I was a messenger at a kingdom. Fun things to do, by the way. Traveling around the islands. Anyways! Um, I used to be a sketcher for a detective. Also fun. And now, I’m the writer of Adventures of an Agent. I play videogames and read comic books all the time. Umm, I think that’s all.

Jenny: And I used to be the local geek at a small town. I was a secretary for a while during the beginning of my fan fics. Now I’m the writer of Sci-fi fan fics and online blog movies. I like to blog for Commander Galaxy and other Sci-fi genres-based blogs. Now, to some of our helpers!

(Roxie and Chef Watanabe enter stage left)

Chef Watanabe: Kanichuwa! I am Chef Watanabe! Sushi anyone?

Roxie: I doubt anyone wants sushi. They want what I, Roxie Road have to offer.

Chef Watanabe: And what is that?

Roxie: ICE CREAM!

(Applause)

Buddy: Guys, please tell everyone about yourselves.

Roxie: I’m Roxie Road! I used to work at an ice cream parlor in a small town. I also did some road racing back in the day. I was also a scientist to an agent. Now I’m the Ice Cream Queen. And as you can see, I like bees. And everything must be clean. After this, I need to give the floors their 20 hour washing and 10 hour polish. I like to clean.

Chef Watanabe: I’ve been a sushi chef most of the time. But my son is a ninja. I was a sushi chef in a city, I was a sushi chef in a kingdom, and now I’m a sushi chef on a beach.

Roxie: Boring.

Chef Watanabe: No one asked you, Road?

Roxie: I was here, was I not?

Chef Watanabe: Like I care.

Roxie: Take that back!

Jenny: Well, we’re going to take a short break. This is the time where we have one of our friends or a few of them entertain you or bring awareness of something.

Buddy: So, see you soon, pals!

(All exit stage right)

Emi: And now, your entertainment, or it might be, I don’t know. Please welcome Ms. Nicole, Dolly Dearheart, and Katie!

(Ms. Nicole, Dolly, and Katie enter stage left)

Ms. Nicole: Hello, Darlings. I am the amazing Ms. Nicole.

Dolly: I’m Dolly Dearheart.

Katie: And I’m Katie! And we are here to bring awareness to a very important and serious subject!

Dolly: Very serious. Drum roll please.

(Drum roll)

Ms. Nicole: (singsong) FASHION!

Dolly: It is very important.

Katie: For example: We have Dolly here in her Pink and Pretty Pinafore!

Dolly: How’s that for alliteration.

Katie: Very much so.

Ms. Nicole: And we have Katie in her Japanese Outfit! Totally fetching!

Katie: Thank you, Ms. Nicole.

Ms. Nicole: Anytime, dear.

Dolly: And the expert, Ms. Nicole, with her fashionable and stylish feathers and dress!

Ms. Nicole: Thank you, dear.

Dolly: Your welcome.

Katie: Fashion is a serious thing.

Dolly: An important thing.

Ms. Nicole: A seriously important thing.

Katie: And some people don’t get that.

Ms. Nicole: So please, darlings.

Dolly: For the deprived ones, please make a donation over there in a box later.

Ms Nicole: We will be waiting for you to make a donation.

Katie: For those who don’t have the choice to be fashionable.

Ms Nicole: Alright, darlings.

Dolly: We will go now.

Katie: Domo arigato and sayonara!

(All exit stage left)

Emi: Now, please return to your seats as we return to the show.

(Music starts)

(Jenny and Buddy enter stage left)

Buddy: And we’re back, pal!

Jenny: Now, of course, we haven’t had the chance to meet all of our team. So please meet our announcer, MC Emi and her friend, Mitch!

(Emi and Mitch enter stage right)

Emi: Hello! Hello! Hello!

Jenny: Now, Emi. Why don’t you tell everyone about yourselves.

Emi: Hold onto your hats because I’m about to tell you what we’re all about. I used to be MC for the festivals in a town not too far from here. I absolutely love festivals! I also love cats! AND I LOVE MONKEYS!! And my pal Mitch is just the same, except he knows a bit more about stuff then I do! He is SUPER smart! And now, we MC all sorts of stuff. We are just that (Singsong) AMAZING!!

Jenny: Yep, that’s her. Thanks, Emi!

Emi: No problem Jennio!

Jenny: Alright, we don’t need the ‘O’.

Emi: Whatever you say!

Buddy: And wait! There’s more!

Jenny: Please meet…

Buddy and Jenny: Our manager, Travis!

(Silence)

Emi: And now, to introduce, our kind manager… TRAVIS!

Travis: (Off stage) I don’t care if you have to go to the Elf Forest, I need those ambrosias!

Buddy: Hehehe…

Jenny: He seems to be busy, so please meet his assistant, Preston.

(Preston enters stage left)

Buddy: (Whisper) Why does he work for us anyways?

Jenny (Whisper) Shhh.

Preston: Hello, people!

Buddy: Hey, Preston. Travis is very mad about ambrosia again, isn’t he?

Preston: What can I say, it’s Travis.

Buddy: Does he know he can get it from Gino’s cousin, Charlie?

Preston: Nope.

Jenny: Anyways. Tell our audience about yourself.

Preston: Gladly. I used to run a ‘Bottled Water Empire’ but that went down the drain when I tried to run a lodge out of business. I have to do a few years of community service for destroying half the lodges property. And don’t tell her (looks around, whispers) my girlfriend is insane.

Beebee: (Off stage) Oh Pressie!

Preston: Oh no! That’s her!

(Beebee enters stage right, running)

Beebee: PRESSIE!

(Beebee tackles Preston)

Preston: Beebee, we’re in ‘public’. Get off of me.

Beebee: Oh! (Gets off of Preston) Hi! (Waves at audience) I’m Pressie’s girlfriend! Like my new buddy ears (Gestures to bunny hat) I like bunnies! Bunnies are my second most favorite thing in the whole world! No, wait! The whole universe (Spins around) My favvy is my Pressie! Oh, I brought your costume!

Preston: What costume?

Beebee: Your yeti costume silly!

Preston: I thought you threw it away.

Beebee: Why would I do that? It’s so cute.

Preston: It’s embarrassing. And speaking of which. You’re embarrassing me in front of the world.

Beebee: They won’t mind.

Preston: But I WILL!

(Jenny and Buddy chuckle)

(Preston glares at Jenny and Buddy)

Preston: Not funny!

Buddy: Actually, it’s quite amusing.

Jenny: Yes.

Beebee: We are entertaining, aren’t we?

Preston: And now you encouraged her.

(Jenny straightens up)

Jenny: This is getting out of hand. We’ll take a short break now. (Towards stage right) Walker! A little help here! (Forward) See you later!

(Walker enters stage right and drags Preston and Beebee off stage left as they talk)

(Buddy, and Jenny exit stage left)

(Emi takes center stage)

Emi: And now, please enjoy Roger, our local work out freak.

(Emi and Mitch exit stage left)

(Roger enters stage right)

Roger: Hey, everybody! I’m Roger, and I’m about to tell you about the importance of being fit! Now, as you can see, I like to work out, thanks to my toned muscles.

(Roger flexes muscles)

Roger: But, that’s not enough. You have to eat right too. And stay active. Like playing sports or camping or hiking or canoeing, et cetera, et cetera. Can I have a member of the audience come up here quickly?

(Stephen raises hand)

Roger: Come on up kid!

(Stephen walks up from audience)

Roger: What’s you name, kid?

Stephan: Stephan.

Roger: Alright. What do you do in your everyday life?

Stephan: Well, I wake up early. Study and improve my building blueprints. I build mini-versions of building and then I go and start building the real thing with a little help. At the end of the day, I make sure I didn’t hurt anything and if I did, take care of, and then go to bed early so I can be well rested the next day.

Roger: Oh yeah. You’re the kid that I helped build that gym last year, right?

Stephan: Yes, that would be me.

Roger: This kid carried a lot of stone and steel for that gym. I like this kid. He has determination.

Stephan: Thank you very much

Roger: Now what do you eat?

Stephan: Fruits, veggies, sushi, the occasional pizza, sometimes cake, and dairy products. I keep myself on a regulated diet so I don’t have anything holding me back when it comes to building. I’m a little picky.

(Roger wraps an arm around Stephan)

Roger: I love this kid. Hey, you’re gonna be coming on my seminars a lot. You are a fine young man, I tell you! I fine young man, indeed.

Stephan: Thank you, sir. Can I go back to my seat?

Roger: You can.

(Stephan exits into audience)

Roger: Now you know! Exercise! Work-out! Eat right! I’m Roger! See ya!

(Applause)

Emi: And now, back to Stranger than Impossible!

(Music starts)

(Buddy enters stage left)

Buddy: Hey pal! Sorry about that thing with Beebee and Preston. Jenny is taking care of it now.

Jenny: (Off stage) OW! SHE BIT ME!!

Buddy: (Towards stage left) You okay?

Jenny: (Off stage) MAYBE!

Buddy: Hehehe. Ummmm, Travis! Get out here!

(Travis enters stage left)

Travis: (On cell phone) Yes I know… Yes… Uh huh… (huff)… Alright… Mom… Mom, I have to go… Yes, I’ll make sure I press my sweater vest… Bye, mom. (Hangs up) What’s up, Bud?

Buddy: Well, Jenny got bit by someone and I need to go check on her. Tell everyone about yourself.

Travis: Why me?

Buddy: Because everyone else has introduced themselves, and I’m not ready for Walker to come out yet.

Travis: Alright.

Buddy: See ya pal! (Whisper) good luck.

(Buddy exits stage left)

Travis: Well, I’m Travis. I used to be just a small town boy, partying at Club Candy, hanging out with people, the normal stuff. I went to the Royal Academy for a few years, good education, by the way. After that, I became a reporter for Racing Magazine. I got bored, so I hosted a game at the festival that Emi was talking about earlier. I left and came to another town and became a small town boy once again. I was an apprentice in an agency for a while, but it wasn’t my thing, so I am now managing different things, including this show. And that’s me. Sorry I’m not more exciting.

(Applause)

Travis: Wow, I should come here more after!

(Buddy and Jenny enter stage left)

Travis: Hey, guys? I like this crowd, can I come back on again?

Jenny: Maybe. Why don’t you go and call about the ambrosia.

Travis: Ah yes, gotta call Charlie!

(Travis exits stage right)

Jenny: Sorry about that. Now, I believe our last guy is ready to show his face and tell us about him.

Buddy: Walker, come on out pal!

(Walker enters stage left)

Buddy: Hiya, pal!

Walker: Hello.

Jenny: Tell everyone about yourself.

Walker: I’m a security guard.

(Silence)

Jenny: Is that it?

Walker: Yes. (Whisper) the rest is classified.

Buddy: Okay then! Thank you, Walker.

(Applause)

(Walker exits stage left)

Jenny: Now, we will be taking a few questions. Anyone?

(Vincent raises hand)

Buddy: Hey, Vincent Skullfinder! What’s up?

Vincent: How can you contact these fascinating creature you are going to show us?

Jenny: I’m sorry, we can not tell you about that.

Vincent: Please, tell me!

Buddy: (On a phone) Hey, Preston? Can we get some papers for a restraining order? Yeah, thanks. (hangs up)

Jenny: Sir, I cannot tell you how to get a hold of ANYONE!

Vincent: Fine, be that way.

Buddy: Thank you. Any other questions?

(Spencer raises hand)

Jenny: Yes, Spencer?

Spencer: Jenny, do you have a boyfriend?

Jenny: Leave me alone, you creeper!

Spencer: Fine, fine.

Buddy: Any others?

(Zak raises hand)

Jenny: Zak?

Zak: Do you have a real website for this stuff?

Buddy: Yes we do, pal. It’s www.strangerthanimpossible.com! Write that down, every people!

Zak: Thanks a lot!

Buddy: No problem. Anything else?

Zak: Nope, just that.

Jenny: Alright, Zak.

Buddy: Any other questions

(Silence)

Jenny: Alright.

Buddy: We will take a short break. See you soon.

(Music starts)

(Buddy and Jenny exit stage left)

MC Emi: Now, for your next entertainment. Chaz McFreely

(Chaz enters stage right)

Chaz: Yo yo yo yo! Wuzzup! I’m Chaz Mcfreely, greatest person in the WORLD! You never heard of me? You’re not cool then!

(Taylor stands)

Taylor: YAY! GO CHAZ MCFREELY! I LOVE YOU!

(Taylor sits down)

Chaz: See? I have a fan! You’re super cool, fan girl! Super Duper Cool! Anyways. I’m going to show you some of my insane stunts. They are so insane, they are almost impossible, no joke intended. Yo, computer dude? Pull up the montage of awesomeness.

(Screen comes down and video plays)

(Series of jumps, back flips, skydives, drag racing, etc)

(Video ends)

Chaz: Aren’t I amazing? Now, I have to jit! Catch me later!

(Applause)

(Chaz exits stage right)

(Taylor squeals)

MC Emi: Back to the show, everyone!

Mitch: OH OH AH!

(Music starts)

(Jenny and Buddy enter stage left)

Buddy: Should I dare say it?

Jenny: That’s what the script says.

(Buddy sighs)

Buddy: Then I’m sad to say our time is up.

Jenny: But we aren’t done.

Buddy: No, catch our next show when we’ll bring up some unique people and non-people.

Jenny: Hope you had as much of a wonderful night as we did.

Buddy: Ladies and gents, good night!

(Music plays)

(Jenny and Buddy go out into the crowd)

(Lights go dim)

The End