User:Zorro T. Dracoyena/ZNC Episode 9

Louis ran out onstage.

Louis: Welcome to ZNC! *Zorro fell next to him from the ceiling*

Zorro: *Getting up* The news cast where we have no idea what we're talking about!

Louis: *Looking up* Why'd you bust through the ceiling?

Zorro: I dunno.

They went over to the desk and sat down. ...In the chairs. Not on the desk.

Louis: As you know - or maybe not - this is indeed episode 9.

Zorro: We gotta TON uh junk planned. It is Music Day. And Jenny is also starting her little segment, we have a new game, and Sean Kingston's here! I'm kidding, he's busy.

Some guy offstage: Sing "Free Bird."

Zorro: You know what, Ted? You get out here and sing it yourself.

Guy offstage: ...Really?

Zorro: Yes, really. Get out here. ...NOW!!!

A guy that kinda looked like a cowboy came out on stage. No, this isn't Rusty or Gabby. Zorro gestured for "Ted" to start singing while Louis got out an iPod.

"Ted": *Starts singing* If I leave here tomorrow / Would you still remember me? / For I must be traveling on, now, / 'Cause there's too many places I've got to see. / But, If I stayed here with you, girl / Things just couldn't be the same. / And this bird you cannot change. / Oh... oh... oh... oh... oh... / And this bird you cannot change. / And this bird you cannot change. / Lord knows I can't change. ("Freebird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd found on lyricsfreak.com. I'm putting this here because I'm not gonna torture you any longer.)

"Ted" was getting so into this song that he was completely unaware of what was going on behind him. Zorro and Louis each had one of the iPod's earphones in their ears and were singing along with their song quietly enough that "Ted" couldn't really hear them, but they were still noticable.

Zorro (singing quietly): See it started at the park / Used to chill after dark / Oh when you took my heart / That's when we fell apart / Cause we both thought / That love last forever (Louis: lasts forever)

Louis (singing quietly): They say we're too young / To get ourselves sprung / Oh we didn't care / We made it very clear / And they also said / That we couldn't last together (Zorro: last together)

Toxin was starting to laugh (he's still in charge of the camera at the moment) which slightly threw off "Ted"'s singing. But "Ted" still didn't notice Zorro and Louis.

Louis (singing quietly): It was back in '99 / Watchin' movies all the time / Oh when I went away / For doin' my first crime / And I never thought / That we was gonna see each other (Zorro: see each other)

Zorro (singing quietly): And then I came out / Mami moved me down South / Oh I'm with my girl / Who I thought was my world / It came out to be / That she wasn't the girl for me (Louis: girl for me)

"Ted" finally finished his song. Hearing Zorro and Louis, he turned around.

Zorro: *Oblivious* Now we're fussin' / And now we're fightin' / Please tell me why / I'm feelin' slighted / And I don't know / How to make it better (Louis: make it better)

Louis: *Also oblivious* You're datin' other guys / You're tellin' me lies / Oh I can't believe / What I'm seein' with my eyes / I'm losin' my mind / And I don't think it's clever (Zorro: think it's clever)

Zorro: You're way too beautiful girl / That's why it'll never work / You'll have me - *notices "Ted"* ...Hi.

"Ted" shakes his head and walks offstage. ("Beautiful Girls" - by Sean Kingston - from memory and elyrics.net. Chorus excluded due to certain words.)

Louis: *High voice* Awkward.

Zorro: Let's see what Socks is singin'. To the "Song on the Street"!

The screen shows nobody out on the street.

Louis: Where is he?

Socks suddenly came sliding out onstage, singing:

Socks: It's been one week since you looked at me / Cocked your head to the side and said "I'm angry" / Five days since you laughed at me saying / "Get that together, come back and see me" / Three days since the living room / I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you / Yesterday you'd forgiven me / But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry

Zorro: Here we go.

Socks: Hold it now and watch the hoodwink / As I make you stop, think / You'll think you're looking at Aquaman / I summon fish to the dish, although I like the chalet swiss / I like the sushi 'cause it's never touched a frying pan / Hot like Wasabi when I bust rhymes / Big like LeAnn Rimes / Because I'm all about value / Bert Kaempfort's got the mad hits / You try to match wits, you try to hold me / But I bust through / Gonna make a break and take a fake, / I'd like a stinkin' achin' shake / I like vanilla, cuz it's the finest of the flavors / Gotta see the show, cuz then you'll know / The vertigo is gonna grow / Cause it's so dangerous, / You'll have to sign a waiver / How can I help it if I find it funny when you're mad / Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad / I'm the kind of guy that laughs at a funeral / Can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will / I have the tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve / I have a history of taking off my shirt

Another cat, a black cat that looked like a Siamese only a little bigger, came out.

Socks and Shadow: It's been one week since you looked at me / Threw your arms in the air and said "You're crazy" / Five days since you tackled me / I've still got the rug burns on both my knees / It's been three days since the afternoon / You realized it's not my fault, not a moment too soon / Yesterday you'd forgiven me / And now I sit back and wait till you say you're sorry

Socks: Ckickity China the Chinese chicken / Have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin' / Watchin' X-Files with no lights on / We're dans la maison / I hope the Smoking Man's in this one / Like Harrison Ford I'm gettin' frantic / Like Sting, I'm tantric / Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy / Like Kurosawa, I make mad films / Okay I don't make films / But if I did, they'd have a Samurai / Gonna get a set a' better clubs / Gonna find the kind with the tiny nubs / Just so my irons aren't always flying off the back-swing / Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon -

Louis: He's Socks. He's crazy.

Socks: How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad / Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad / I'm the kine of guy that laughs at a funeral / Can't understand what I mean? / Though, you soon will / I have the tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve / I have a history of losing my shirt

Socks and Shadow: It's been one week since you looked at me / Dropped your arms to the sides and said "I'm sorry" / Five days since I laughed at you and said / "You just did just what I thought you were gonna do!" / Three days since the living room / We realized we were both to blame, but what could we do? / Yesterday you just smiled at me / Cause we still got two days till we say we're sorry / It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry / It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry / Birchmount Stadium, home of the Robbie ("One Week" lyrics from memory and found on lyricsfreak.com)

Socks: We have filled the singing void in our lives! *They leave*

Zorro: Wasn't expecting that.

Louis: And now "A Word From Our Buddy."

Buddy appeared on the screen.

Buddy: Passport.

Louis: This has been "A Word From Our Buddy."

Zorro: *Bouncing up and down in his seat* And now it's time to play! But first the weather. Koda.

Koda: We have a blistering warm front coming down from Greenland and that stationary front's still rapidly moving east. *Points to the west*

Zorro: Excellent. And now for our new game. You all met Louis's cousin Jackie on the last episode. *Jackie steps in front of the camera, briefly waves, and steps back* She's in charge of the camera now, because Toxin is needed for this game. Toxin will shout a random word or phrase and then me and Louis have to talk about it till he shouts another one. We're going through 3 words today. Get ready to play... "What the Heck are We Talking About?!"

Toxin: Nikola Tesla!

Zorro: He was an immigrant.

Louis: Argued with Thomas Edison and his assistant.

Zorro: Edison wanted Alternating Currents.

Louis: Tesla wanted Direct Currents.

Zorro: Had Tesla had his way, we would all have free electricity.

Toxin: Calculators!

Zorro: They calculate things.

Louis: TI-89s can do more complicated calculations.

Zorro: A TI-92 can do almost anything.

Toxin: Contradictions!

Louis: Brilliant idiot.

Zorro: I can't see with these glasses on!

Louis: Stupid genius.

Zorro: You can't swim in the rain! You'll get wet!

Toxin: We're done here. *Crawls away*

Zorro: Woo! Now for Jenny's new segment: "Jenny's Quest for World Domination."

A picture of Earth appeared on the screen. A flag with Jenny's head on it was stabbed into the planet.

- In the Royal Academy -

Rosalyn flipped the lights off and walked out of the building. The "Mission Impossible" theme song started playing as a ceiling tile moved out of place and Jenny was lowered to the floor by a rope. It slipped and she slammed to the floor.

Jenny: *Getting up, dazed* Roxie!

Roxie: *Up in the ceiling* Sorry...

Jenny turned on the computer, typed something, then tugged on the rope to signal for Roxie to pull her back up. On the way up, Jenny banged her head on the ceiling.

Jenny: ROXIE!

Roxie: I'm sorry, Jenny!

Jenny: No you ain't!

Hearing the noise, Rosalyn came back in. Noticing that the computer was on, she went over to it. On the screen was Jenny's flag with the words "You've been DOMINATED!" around it. Jenny and Roxie jumped to the floor from a space in the ceiling in front of the door. The music from the Six Flags commercials started playing and they did a weird little dance to it. (If you don't know what that sounds like, go on YouTube or something.)

Zorro: That was most excellent. Not much to work with in the Royal Academy, but that's why she did it first.

Jenny and Roxie were there now.

Jenny: *Still wearing her black "burgler" outfit* Renee's Nature joint will be longer. ...Oh, I'm sorry, Renee's Wild Animal Rescue Nature Safari Petting Zoo Preserve. Your acronym really DOES work.

Zorro: That's why I made it. *To camera* Next time Willy will be back with another new segment - he's out "collecting data" for it right now - and Killer will be back to do a sports segment.

"Ted": Sing "Free Bird."

Zorro: YOU ALREADY DID!!!

Fly away, Stanley. Be free.
ZNC