User:Zorro T. Dracoyena/Alternative D&Z Halloween Episode


 * HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

There's actually no one on the ZNC stage. Then Zorro and Danny jump into view from opposite sides of the stage. (Because I tend to change Danny - my sim's - clothes often, I'll just tell you what he's wearing whenever he's involved. Right now he's got on the red-and-white checked shirt and ripped jeans.)

Zorro and Danny: Hey!

Zorro: Welcome to ZNC's alternative D&Z Halloween episode. Now, normally, D&Z stands for "d'Artagnan and Zorro." But after last year's Halloween special... Let's just say Dart's a little traumatized. So Danny's gonna stand in and be our "D."

Danny: I really don't know what I'm doing here...

Zorro: Just stand there and be humorous whenever you can. *To the camera* First, we would like to introduce Louis's newly discovered cousin, Jackie!

Danny: "Newly discovered"?

Zorro: Horse families tend to get extremely spread out.

Louis came out onstage with another black horse that had odd orange markings, one of which looked like a flying bat. While Louis and the rest of his family (which you haven't seen yet) have strange light blue eyes, Jackie's are even stranger and are orange-ish.

Louis: This be Jackie. And didja know she was livin' right over yonder in Salem?

Zorro: That close?!

Danny: Not that Jackie doesn't look cool, but are we gonna do anything else Halloween related?

Zorro: Well, of course we are! We have a new host for the "Word on the Street" as well as 2 new segments: one is temporary, though. But first... KODA!

Koda: *Spins his rolling chair around to face them* What up?

Zorro: How's that stationary front?

Koda: Still rapidly moving east.

Zorro: Alright! And now, before our new host get's crazy - and believe me he will - it's time for... the "Word on the Street!"

Live footage shows up on the screen at the back. There's nobody there.

???: Down here, doofus.

The camera angles down. There's a small cat sitting there. He has short black fur with the exception of the white fur on his front toes, up to his shins, and in a jagged hourglass pattern starting at his collar bone and ending between his hind legs.

Camera guy: Kinda short, huh?

???: What? You're picking on my growth disorder?

Camera guy: Uhhh...

???: Thas what I thought. *To camera* Yo, what up, people? I'm Sockrateas. I spell it like it sounds because too many people were callin' me a crate. Everybody usually just calls me "Socks" and Zorro calls me "Socky." That can be spelled 2 ways. SO! This is the "Word on the Street."

Morcubus: WORD!

Socks: WORD!

Morcubus: WORD!

Socks: WORD!

Morcubus: ...

Socks: *As Morcubus walks away* You givin' up that easy? Loser. Forget you. Since it's Halloween, I was aiming to either A: weird out people or B: hang around some spookies.

Carl comes down the sidewalk with Madame Zoe.

Zoe: And then I won't need the other Fortunite!

Carl: Ugh. You're boring me to death. And I'm already dead. You're boring be back to death!

Socks: Prime example. *Jumps at Clara* HEY!

Clara: AGH! *Runs away*

Socks: You're scare of a little kitty?

Zorro: OK. Socks?

Socks: Huh?

Zorro: You're gonna scare everybody away with your cuteness.

Socks: Aw! It's over?

Zorro: 'Fraid so.

Camera pans back out to the stage. Zorro and Danny are now accompanied by Roxie (dressed as a vampire) and a werewolf with black fur.

Danny: *To werewolf* And you tried to convince us you were a werecat.

Zorro: We are here with Roxie and, yes, this is Jenny. *Gestures to the werewolf* ...What were we gonna do?

Danny: Roxie and Jenny were going to sing while we get the next thing ready.

Zorro: Right! My go-to man. *Walks away*

Werewolf Jenny: Let's do this.

Roxie: Trigger happy... Trigger happy...

Werewolf Jenny: Got an AK-47, well you know it makes me feel alright / Got an Uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night / There's no feeling any greater / Than to shoot first and ask questions later / Now I'm tregger happy, trigger happy every day

Roxie: Well, you can't take my guns away, I got a constitutional right / Yeah, I gotta be ready if the Commies attack us tonight / I'll blow their brains out with my Smith and Wesson / That ought to teach them all a darn good lesson / Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day

Together: (Oh, yeah I'm) trigger, trigger happy / Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy / (Oh baby, I'm) trigger, trigger happy / Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy / (Oh I'm so) trigger, trigger happy / Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy / Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away

Roxie: Oh, I accidently shot daddy last night in the den / I mistook him in the dark for a drug-crazed Nazi again / Now why'd you have to get so mad? / It was just a lousy flesh wound, Dad / You know, I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day

Werewolf Jenny: Oh, I still haven't figured out the safety on my rifle yet / Little Fluffy took a round, better take him to the vet / I filled that kitty cat so full of lead / We'll have to use him for a pencil instead / Well, I'm so trigger happy, trigger happy every day

Together: (Oh, yeah I'm) trigger, trigger happy / Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy / (Oh baby, I'm) trigger, trigger happy / Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy / (Oh I'm so) trigger, trigger happy / Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy / Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away

Danny: *Jumps in* Come on and grab your ammo / What have you got to lose? / We'll all get liquored up / And shoot at anything that moves

Werewolf Jenny: Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight / Oh, I'm prayin' somebody tries to break in here tonight / I always keep a Magnum in my trunk / You better ask yourself, do you feel lucky, punk? / Because I'm trigger happy, trigger happy everyday

All: (Oh, yeah I'm) trigger, trigger happy / Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy / (Oh baby, I'm) trigger, trigger happy / Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy / (Oh I'm so) trigger, trigger happy / Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy / Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away

Zorro: And we are ready! This is a segment that we do on D&Z anyway: "Hey, What Just Hit Me?" For this, Jackie will be blind folded and we will throw things at her. Then she has to guess what just hit her. Pretty simple. *Danny tied the blind fold on the mare's head* Ready, Jackie?

Jackie: Sure. *The first object hit her full in the chest* A mango. *Object 2* A 6 inch long plastic rat from Dollar General. *Object 3* A jack-o-lantern. *Object 4 hit her in the face* A foot-long sub with bologna, salami, turkey, cheese, lettuce, 2 slices of tomato, and out of date mayonaisse.

Zorro: When was the experation date?

Jackie: ...October 20, 2010.

Zorro: Excellent. *Danny took the blind fold off Jackie* And, now, to end the show...  Me and Socky are gonna sing.

The colored lights turn on, turning the entire stage blue.

Zorro: Yo, listen up: here's a story / About a little guy / That lives in a blue world / And all day and all night and everything he sees is / Just blue like him inside and outside

Socks: Blue his house with a blue little window / And a blue Corvette and everything is blue for him / And himself and everybody around / 'Cause he ain't got nobody to listen to...

Zorro: I'm blue, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die

Socks: I'm blue, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die

Zorro: I have a blue house with a blue window / Blue is the color of all that I wear / Blue are the streets and all the trees are too / I have a girlfriend and she is so blue / Blue are the people here that walk around / Blue like my Corvette it's standing outside / Blue are the words I say and what I think / Blue are the feelings that live inside me

Zorro: I'm blue, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die

Socks: I'm blue, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die

Socks: I have a blue house with a blue window / Blue is the color of all that I wear / Blue are the streets and all the trees are too / I have a girlfriend and she is so blue / Blue are the people here that walk around / Blue like my Corvette it's standing outside / Blue are the words I say and what I think / Blue are the feelings that live inside me

Zorro: I'm blue, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die

Socks: I'm blue, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die / da ba dee da ba die, da ba dee da ba die


 * "Tigger Happy" by "Weird Al" Yankovic found on azlyrics.com. "I'm Blue" by Eiffel 65 found on lyricstime.com.  I'm aware of the other version of "I'm Blue."*

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