User:Zorro T. Dracoyena/Round 2: The "Luis and Clamp" Expedition

Zorro was the only one on the stage

Zorro: Welcome back to "Fun With Time Portals" - I am so not saying that every time. OK, so today is the first ACTUAL round that people get to participate in. I talked to Remix and convinced him to take us back to Pittsburgh at 11:00 am on August 31, 1803. Anyone know what that date and time is? It's when the Lewis and Clark expedition officially begins. Now, because the Lewis and Clark expedition consists of 33 members, me and Dart are taking 31 people with us to compete with President Jefferson's expedition team.

Some guy offstage: Sing "Free Bird."

Zorro: Yes, this is the ZNC stage and yes, that dude is still here.

Buddy: *In the audience* Where's Dart?

Zorro: In the bathroom. Moving on, this will be a 2 part event-

Evelyn: *Also in the audience* Isn't that expedition supposed to take 2 - 2 and a half years?

Zorro: Yes, it is. That's why both teams will hit 2 dimensional rifts, making the trip alot shorter. As for this team, Luis, you are our Meriwether Lewis. Oh, when I call your name come up on stage. Elmira Clamp, you are our William Clark - not because you're like him, just because you're name works for our title: the Luis and Clamp expedition. Lyndsay, you will be our Sacajawea. Gordon, William Clark had a slave named York, you are our York.

Gordon: I'm a slave?!

Zorro: Yeeeaaah... And slaves couldn't read, NO BOOKS!!! The other members are: Violet, Bob, Patrick, Gino, Skullfinder, Preston, Chaz, Roxie, Jenny, Vic, Aran, Buddy, Matt, Trevor, Dr. F, Nova, Summer, Spencer, Brandi, Esma, Jimmy, Renee, Evelyn, Mike, Liberty, Travis, and Morcubus. That was just off the top of my head.

Dart: *Comes running onstage* What'd I miss?

Zorro: This is our team. Now remember, y'all: if ya die, ya come back here. And because only one dude dies in the Lewis and Clark expedition, I don't want more than one of ya dyin'.

Remix: Are you ready yet? I wanna go!

Nova: How much shorter are we talking.

Zorro: *As they all headed towards the portal* 3 days.

They all came out on a cliff over looking a forest. There was more forest behind them on the cliff.

Nova: Very questionable landscape...

Dart: Yeah, well...

Just then, a huge bird swooped down and snatched both Morcubus and Esma off the cliff before flying away.

Zorro: *Silent for a moment, then to Dart* Can I call a replacement?

Dart: No.

Luis: I hope this will look good on my college application.

Liberty: Luis, if you put this on your college application, people will think you're crazy.

Brandi: *They begin walking* Even I wouldn't be able to pull that off.

Travis: Aww... I don't get any reception out here!

Lyndsay: It's 1803. There aren't any satallites in orbit yet.

Trevor: Oh, woe! -

Zorro: Don't you start that mess with me!

Jenny: *Giving Jimmy a threatening glare* Still want that cheese?

Jimmy: I didn't even get the burger, you called security!

Aran: We must be fast as a cheetah and tenacious as a badger.

Mike: Just don't let the crabs break into the temple with stealth submarines.

Aran: o_o

Roxie: Jenny, you are the main reason we were arrested from Burger King.

Jenny: Zorro was rapping, too! And who are you to talk? You were beatboxing!

Dr. F: If I use some of that moss... mm, yes, and those leaves will do nicely, too.

Vic: Uhh... what are you talking about, dude?

Dr. F: Why my next experiment, OF COURSE!!!

Matt: *To Zorro* I can't BELIEVE you locked me in the closet!

Zorro: It was necessary.

Evelyn: Dad, crabs can't pilot stealth submarines...

Mike: You're right... IT WAS HELICOPTERS!!!

Evelyn: *Sigh*

Renee: *To Spencer* Ever ridden a pig?

Spencer: Nooo.... I ride horses...

Preston: Ugh! Why do I have to be here?

Chaz: This is SO not extreme.

Skullfinder: This should definately look excellent on my resume.

Gino: Hm... there don't seem to be any ingredients for pizza out here...

Bob: *To himself* Do it for honor... Do it for honor...

Summer: WHOO - *Brandi whacked her with a branch. Apparently, this killed her, because she disolved into tie-dye dust and floated away*

Zorro: Brandi! Really?! *Leans towards her and says quietly enough so the others don't hear* Good job.

Brandi: *Grinned ferociously and briefly nodded*

Buddy: So, Dart, if this is going to take 3 days, why is it only a 2 part thing?

Dart: That's... a really good question, Buddy. Zorro, d'you think we should make this a 3 part-er?

Zorro: Yeah, whatever. *To Violet* You OK here?

Violet: I'm fine...

Zorro: Okey-dokey then! *Bounds over to Elmira and opens his mouth to say something*

Elmira: SHHH...!

Zorro: *Stands there eith his mouth open for a few seconds then snaps and gives her a "thumbs up" before running over to Patrick* How are things going over here?

Patrick: Terrible. Because of Renee, I can't have any bacon while I'm here!

Gordon: How would you even cook bacon?

Patrick: ...I dunno...

Aran: *Talking to Nova* Maybe I should try to find a way to mix aliens and yetis into Sim-Fu.

Luis: There's Lewis and Clark!

Lyndsay: *Slaps her hand over his mouth* At least 11 of those people are soldiers and York has a gun! D'you wanna be shot?

Luis: Mm-mmm...

Lyndsay: Then don't shout at them.

York had indeed noticed them and was getting his musket ready.

Zorro: You want extreme, Chaz? Here ya go! *He throws Chaz out in plain view. Chaz is promptly shot and turns into tie-dye dust* Don't have to deal with him anymore.

Trevor: Are you plotting our demise or something?

Zorro: *Partially laughing* No-ho... *Stops* Just some of you.

Everyone left: WHAT?!

???: Sing "Free Bird."

Zorro: Are you serious?

Lyndsay: This way! *Runs off*

They all chased after Lyndsay until they found her standing in a little clearing.

Lyndsay: We should make camp here. It isn't on Lewis and Clark's trail.

Dart: Good. It's getting dark anyway. Zorro, don't kill anyone duriing the night.

Zorro: I ain't promisin' nothin'.

Part 1 - End
Fun With Time Portals! Archive