User:Zorro T. Dracoyena/When The Laws of Nature No Longer Apply

Jenny was casually turning back and forth in her rolling chair at her desk while Roxie was over at her station doing... something. Tired of the piece of gum she was chewing, Jenny spit it all the way across the room and into the trash can nest to Roxie's desk.

Roxie: o_o

Jenny: What?

Roxie leaps over her desk, sprints across the lobby, jumps Jenny's desk, knocks the other girl out of her chair, and begins to beat her up. Zorro and Buddy walk in.

Buddy: Uh... What's going on?

Jenny: *Struggles to get her head above her desk. Straining* Run. *Roxie yanks her back to the floor*

Zorro bolts out the door. Buddy follows him, but stops just outside the building.

Buddy: Zorro! Where are you going?!

Zorro: *Running down the street on his hind legs* She said to run!

About an hour later...

Danny: What happened?

Jenny: *Sitting in her chair like a sack of potatoes* Yor ghetto... ice-cream-makin'... researcher from DA HOOD beat the snot outta me.

Danny: Why...?

Jenny: I spit my gum in her trash can.

Danny: Why would you do that?

Jenny: Well, Evelyn stole my trash can!

Evelyn: *Looks up from her magazine* I did not! Zorro probably threw in the ceiling.

Buddy: *Looks at the ceiling* Nope. *Zorro ran back in* Zorro! How'd you know the fight was over?

Zorro: Huh? I didn't. The cops are after me. How do they know I'm on ABI's most wanted?

Jenny: "ABI?"

Zorro: "Animal Bureau of Investigation."

Jenny: Ah.

Danny: Where's Roxie right now?

Buddy: Hand-cuffed to the table in the back room.

Danny: The one that's bolted down?

Buddy: Yep.

Danny: She's figure out how to get outta that soon.

Danny went over to the bookshelves, Buddy went to his green chair, and Zorro went over to where an intimidating semi-fluffy gray cat was sitting. He was intimidating because he only had one ear (his right ear) and normally had a "Shut up and go away" look on his face. ...OK, his left ear was just shriveled up, but you could barely see it.

Jenny: Why doesn't Toxin kill everybody? *Motions to the spider that was sitting on the bench next to the cat. Toxin was 6 inches in diameter and was mostly yellow with black marks that almost looked like camo. (This is an actual spider that lives in my yard. I've tried, but I can't figure out what he is.)*

Zorro: Because that would be against the Laws of Nature.

Smokey: Have you ever actually SEEN the Laws of Nature written down anywhere.

Zorro: *Thinks a second* No.

Smokey: Then why should you follow them?

Zorro: Hmm... Let's kill everyone. *Everybody in the room gives him a scared look* Theoretically.

Buddy: I don't know what that means, but if you're not going to kill us, then OK.

Zorro: Kay. I'll kill Roxie. *Right at that moment, Roxie came in the room and immediately went right back out* Hey, where ya goin'? Fine, a buck is gonna bust up in here and impale Jenny.

Jenny: Why's it gotta impale me?!

Zorro: Because you're the secretary.

Jenny: Oh, that's why?

Zorro: Uh-huh.

Jenny: Then I work at McDonald's now.

Zorro: Ah... you have immortalized yourself. The buck is gonna bust up in here and impale Buddy.

Buddy: OK. *Roxie came back in* Roxie, I just got impaled.

Roxie: *Stares at him* My 2 weeks of medical school didn't prepare me for that.

Buddy: Not really!

Roxie: Oh, OK.

Zorro: Then I kill Evelyn.

Evelyn: Only if I get to kill Danny.

Zorro: A'ight, here's what happened. A buck busts up in here and impales Buddy.

Roxie: Why not Jenny?

Jenny: *Gives her a funny look, then spreads her arms* I work at McDonald's now.

Zorro: BUDDY'S IMPALED NOW! Then Roxie shoots the buck and turns it into chemically altered jerky. Danny gets elected for mayor but is then assassinated by Evelyn. Jenny kills Evelyn, I kill Roxie, Toxin kills me, and then the entire world blows up and only Jethro is left. *Points at the super shiny black cockroach*

Danny: What happened to Smokey?

Zorro: Smokey is so cool that he magically teleports to another dimension where he lives forever until he dies.

Evelyn: *Stifles a laugh* "Lives forever until he dies?"

Jenny: He's Smokey. He can do that.

The End... OF THE WORLD!!! (Not Really)
The Misadventures of the HQ Crew (and whoever else is in the lobby at that time) Archive